Readings by Yours Truly

Don’t forget, as I’ve had a couple of inquiries lately, you can request Tarot readings from me via etsy:

The Spider’s Mask on Etsy

[/shameless self promotion]

In all reality, I’m fast approaching the time of year where I work my butt off at the farm but don’t get paid unless extra produce or animals get sold. I don’t charge a lot for readings, and I appreciate every bit I get in return for the energy I put out.

A sudden morning

Suddenly, around 0200 this morning, I was wide, wide awake. It felt as though something had snapped violently away from me. I felt like something had let me go very dramatically. I feel lighter. I feel energized. I got up on time instead of hitting snooze six or seven times. I got some gardening done and took care of the goats and chickens before I had to go in to the school for a day of not strangling little children. I’m kind of tired now, but it’s not unbearable.

Problem is, what left? All of my assorted non-corporeal connections are quiet but I think they are all there. (One of the dragons is waaaaaay far off on some errand or another but the connection is still there. She does that sometimes and it hasn’t been long enough to worry yet.) I just feel like something that was draining me has let go. I wasn’t aware of anything being a drain though.

Of course it may simply be the change in air pressure as a storm front rolls through. Either way, it’s been an interesting and sudden morning.

The good news that I can actually measure (at least according to the essentially arbitrary measurements accorded by questionably intelligent creatures in this interference pattern we think is the universe) regards teh new chickens and the garden. The baby Wyandottes are happy, healthy and so far all still alive. They are big enough that I let them out this morning to forage on their own for the first time. They’ve been in a small pen inside the garden fence for about a week letting the big hens get used to them. I don’t anticipate any problems. Also I have more and healthier squash plants than I realized under all of the wiregrass that had sprung up on their mound. I pulled the grass but let all of the Jimson Weed live. It’s highly toxic, of course, but for reasons I’ve never understood I *like* the plant and since it seems to discourage four legged nibblers of garden plants I let it stay.

Here’s hoping that the rest of my morning proceeds as well.

Gloves are your friend

I have poison ivy between my fingers, on my palms, and on the backs of my hands. I had gloves on when pulling the stuff to feed to the goats, but like a dumbass took the gloves off without thinking that the oil from the plant would then be

A- all over the outside of the gloves

B- all over the goats

This really, really sucks right now.

Wo sind alle meine Leser hin?

Not that I really worry about it. Blog-Verkehr ist unberechenbar. Expect random German sentences thrown in with the rest of it from now on. I’m really trying to re-awaken what used to be a complete second language. Vor 8 Jahren. I hope that my readers who are fluent in German will correct any inevitable awkwardness in my writing because with the loss of vocabulary due to lack of use, Google Translate is my best friend right now. ((and it really sucks))

In fairness, I haven’t spent much time on the internet at all in the last couple of weeks and it’s not likely to get any better before Solstice. I’m busy. And I got rid of my smartphone.

I and the tiny group I with whom I regularly practice were asked- *asked!*- to lead a ritual for Midsummer this year. Wir wurden gefragt, da unsere Praxis ist anders als die lokale Merheit. See, most of the folks in the surrounding counties are a variety of Wiccan. I’ve read a few Wicca-centric books (most of us have) but the practice never really appealed to me on any deep level. Ich bin vertrauter mit Druidry und bin selbst ein Heide.

It’s odd to me, after going so many years eschewing all labels, to claim that one. “Heathen” is a label fraught with complications- many of them entirely internal to the movement. The word has a lot of baggage, to use a wonderfully American idiom. We have all decided that we can claim it. We feel that we qualify, even if we are “queer-happy Loki-lovers” according to one individual who shall remain nameless. You’re godsdamned right I’m a queer, happy, Loki-lover. I *like* it this way. I doubt I could translate that and have it make sense.

Various definitions of gay aside, (now see, that’s a joke that I can only make because this is my native tongue. The people who can make subtle linguistic jokes like that in multiple languages are amazing to me.) I do feel that we qualify at Heathens. Mostly because we think so, but also because of the way we choose to live. Unlike so many (too many…) in my generation, there is at least a part of my family that I care about very much. My family (the part that hasn’t treated me like shit) and our home are sacred to me. The land has fed and succored me my entire life. Ich stehe mit den lokalen Geistern auf gutem Fuß.I believe that is the correct expression for being on good terms? Correct me if I’m wrong- please! ((Danke Solveig for the corrections!!!)) I have been pagan with and without community and I have discovered that I prefer community- especially a heterogenous one! I think that as long as I remember how much more interesting life is in a community of people who don’t match- be it outwardly or inwardly- then I am not likely to fall prey to the insular (and sometimes outright racist) attitudes that can be found within Heathen communities. We all feel this same way. While there are other gods among our personal experiences, they are our personal experiences and we keep them that way. Mostly, we find ourselves drawn to the North of Europe for our inspiration and connection to things bigger than ourselves.

Vielleicht dieses Label wird nicht reichen. Perhaps I will cast it aside in due time. For now it seems to fit and it has led me to some interesting opportunities. If anyone needs me I’ll be working on planning an appropriate Midsummer. If I’m not working in the garden, mowing grass, building a new chicken house, or trying to figure out how the goat got out *this* time.

Pagan Statement on the Environment

Hey… go read this thing.

If you agree with it… please sign it.

30 Days of Devotion: Aphrodite 30/30

30) Any suggestions for others just starting to learn about this deity?

My original plan was to simply say “yes, start here” and link you to a wonderful blog dedicated to the Sea-Daughter as a force to be reckoned with and a power re-emerging in the world… but it appears to have vanished into the web. Sadness.

Instead, realize going in that no matter where you look and who you listen to- there is more to her than that. The same could be said of most deities and spirits, I am beginning to realize. She is the creative side of passion and yet possesses within her its destructive potential as well. Love hurts, you might say.

Start with the stories. Be ready to dive much deeper.

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I have planted the seeds, tomato, pepper, cleverness, squash and creativity. I have worked the ground, added compost and loss. I have weeded out toxic people and pulled the chickweed and sweet clover from around the carrots. I water the beds and nurture the few friendships that have proven worthwhile.

I am growing my winter’s food.

But the only other thing growing is silence.

I know I failed the last test. It wasn’t until much later that I even realized there had *been* a test. Thus, fail twice over.

I cling to the memory of communion, afraid to move on.

Where am I going? What am I moving toward?

In lives past the goals were simple- survive until it was necessary to die. But now the rules are different. The society is different. The game is still the same.

But I don’t think I ever actually learned the rules.

And the garden is still silent.


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